In this issue: With an appliance that creates perfect copies of an individual in parallel realities, users could experiment with every possible parameter to optimize their personal relationships. What if I was more generous with my partner? Or more affectionate, more forgiving, more… honest? A Protocolized debut from Ramprasath.
“I used to think we were the perfect couple who enjoyed spending time together and maintained a deep bond,” I said, lying on the bed with my fiancé, Karim. “But here we are, almost three years into this relationship, still deliberately trying to fit in with one another.”
Karim shook his head and glared at me, with my frustrated expression.
“I’m struggling to put myself into this relationship, Karim. I’m always the one apologizing. I always end up holding back my feelings. I feel insecure about expressing my feelings or doubts because I know you won’t hear them. Or worse, you’ll criticize or demean them. We are so dissimilar, our list of differences goes on and on. I want to fix this, to fix us.” I was struggling to put my feelings into words.
My lips pursed, tears welled up in my eyes. I hastily wiped them back, but they kept coming.
Karim rolled over me, sliding smoothly along the edges of the bed, landing on his feet, untroubled. He walked across the bedroom to the window, where a machine was located. It was white and looked vaguely like a photocopier or a refrigerator.
Karim plugged the machine’s power cord into the wall socket and it came to life with a beeping sound.
“This is a copy generator, Usha. It can create physical copies of me with slight variations.”
I chuckled uneasily.
“Are you hoping a version of you from some other reality will strike a perfect balance with me?” I smirked, staring condescendingly at him.
Karim nodded, his face breaking into a wide smile.
“In one reality, I’ll listen to you; while in another, you’ll listen to me. In one, I’ll be the breadwinner; in another, you will. In one, we could change our location, while in another, we could change our jobs. We would differ only slightly in each reality. You could try living with many versions of me.
“Once you find a copy of me not to your taste, you simply create another reality, and you continue until you find a perfect balance.”
Karim spoke rapidly, his words tumbling out, but with a surprising clarity that cut through the rush.
“No, Karim, I won’t do it.” I said firmly, staring at him without blinking.
“But why?” Karim screamed, shrugging his shoulders.
His brows were furrowed, his face betrayed his frustration and anxiety. I always loved his innocence. It’s just too easy to get him triggered.
I wondered if I should share the truth with him. I realized things could get out of control if I kept my cards close to my chest right now.
I inhaled deeply.
“You don’t know this, but I have already tried that, Karim. Who we are right now is only one set from the many copies I have created. It’s been over two and a half years that I’ve been creating copies, hoping to find a fit between us. The failure of thousands of copies of us to make things work makes me think that we are just genetically incompatible.”
“But the point is,” I went on, “if our genetic makeup changed during the copying process, we would not be who we are. Our genetic makeup must be immutable in this copying process. Without a perfect match in our genes, making multiple copies makes no sense.” I confessed everything that I had learned from two years of dating versions of him.
“I don’t remember consenting to this,” Karim said, agitated.
“You did. Remember that adventure trip we took to Mars by teleportation?”
“Yes!”
“I paid for the whole trip, which made me the primary account holder with the teleportation company. And that gave me the right to copy you from the backup at any point in time after the trip began,” I explained.
“Oh god! I thought you were doing your part by splitting the bills equally!” Karim was appalled.
I looked away from him, avoiding eye contact and hiding a smirk.
“Girl! You’ve got a scientific bent of mind!” Karim exclaimed, in awe. “But you have gone too far with it!” He nodded, without taking his eyes off me.
I turned to look back at him. He was still staring at me, his face registered surprise and shock.
I read something to him, a quote from Nikola Tesla, trying to change the topic:
“Be alone, that is the secret of invention; be alone, that is when ideas are born. That is why many earthly miracles have had their genesis in humble surroundings.”
I went on:
“If wanting to be alone was in his genes, no copy would have permitted him to have a girlfriend or lover, regardless of the changes in his outlook, perspectives, perceptions, or opinions.”
“Gosh! Isn’t this Major Histocompatibility Complex!” Karim screamed in disbelief.
“Where else did you think those prenatal genetic screening tests they were conducting on pregnant women would eventually lead?”
I paused for a moment.
“Eventually, Karim. Eventually…”
Karim stood staring at me; his mouth opened wide in awe as if I were roaring ocean waves.
“As far as I can glean from my other copies, I only seem to have known agonies, frustrations, disappointments, and feuds with you. You might have been a successful partner to me in just one or two realities. Do you know how embarrassing it is to see your relationship fail repeatedly, even after subjecting it to different circumstances, options, and choices? At one point, I felt such overwhelming failure that I wanted just to go back to the original you,” I tried my best to articulate how our relationship was a total failure.
For over two years, I had kept all of this concealed from him, hoping not to spoil his peace of mind and happiness. Now, however, I realized that by doing so, I had only been holding him back from finding his ideal match.
“Until humankind develops a tangible method to predict genetic compatibility, I think what we all should do is just mess around with one another in the name of love.”
Karim winced at what I said.
“Oh! What a let-down!” He uttered in a low voice as he exhaled slowly. He threw his hands up in the air and then rested them on his head. His eyes moved here and there. I imagined he was trying hard to make sense of everything I had shared.
“Is this why the internet is devoid of legit user experience reviews on these copy machines?!” Karim finally said, lost in thought.
“Embarrassments are something meant to be hidden, Karim.”
“Perhaps no one tried this solution, Usha.”
“Of course people are trying!” I stopped myself from laughing.
“I am pretty sure people are trying because it is, really, really hard to stay in a relationship that is not working without something very compelling to convince us.”
Karim closed his eyes. When he opened them, he looked like an enlightened person.
“Is there no way out? I can never think of anyone else in your place, Usha.” Karim said with his mouth downturned.
I leaned over and hugged him.
“So, are there going to be several copies of us falling in love with each other repeatedly?” Karim chuckled, clapping his hands. “I would love to grab every opportunity to love you, Usha,” he said, embracing me warmly. I instantly melted in his embrace.
If I get the love of my life, who cares about winning?
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